“The vision you hold in your mind…this you will build your life by, this you will become.” James Allen
We often set goals and create a vision of what we want for our future. This may include individual career goals, personal dreams or the dreams and visions we hold for our children or loved ones. We have observed, however, that we often hold big, huge dreams for others, but not quite as big for ourselves. Our message for you today focuses on taking a look at how big you hold yourself, and what limits you in achieving your true vision.
It’s fun to play “what if” and pretend we could do anything we wanted. So, why can’t we? It’s not that we don’t really want it to happen, but we often are caught up in the self-limiting factors, which prevent us from focusing on our big dream. Sometimes we’re limited by the effort it would take to achieve our dream, or how strange or silly others might think our dream is. We’ve listed some other limiting factors below:
This is the voice in your head that protects you from taking risks, making mistakes, etc. In fact, his or her job is to keep you safe and protected. The Gremlin usually appears when you’re hearing phrases like: you can’t, it won’t work, what if this happens, what will others think or say…etc. He or she also revisits the past, worries about the future, and analyzes others. The end result is that the Gremlin limits us through worries, negative perception and lack of belief in what we can really do.
Our own limits and expectations
We also limit ourselves by setting our goals or expectations too low. It seems easy to set high expectations for our children and loved ones because we want the best for them. Very often, however, we set average limits for ourselves. Why? It might be we don’t want to fail, or set our bar too high for fear of disappointing ourselves. It might be that we focus our energy on why we can’t versus how we can. And, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — we either achieve the can or can’t depending on which perspective we choose.
Lack of support
People that achieve great things rally support around them. Look at our Olympians – they didn’t do it alone. They had family supporting them, coaches, other athletes, etc. For ourselves, however, how often do we do it alone? We don’t always ask for help or support because we’re not supposed to need it. The truth is: we won’t get there without it. Asking for support is a sign of strength and commitment to our vision, rather than a weakness.
We all have our own fear of failure, and sometimes even fear of success. Add to that, fear of making mistakes, not knowing the exact route or all the answers, and we can create an overwhelming task. Our fears, however, give us the opportunity to grow, learn and achieve our goals and dreams if we have the courage to face them.
Our frame of reference
When you look at the people you surround yourself with, how do they act? Are they trapped by self-limiting behaviors, or do they have big dreams and goals they are out to achieve. Very often, we play to the average – meaning our behaviors and goals are similar to those around us. So, if we are around others who limit themselves, we do the same. Or, if we are around others who have big dreams and are focused on achieving them, we set our sights higher and act accordingly.
Our belief in ourselves
The more we believe in ourselves and in our goals and dreams, the more likely they are to happen. In fact, we are all capable of achieving much more than we really believe. The more we believe in what we’re doing, the more success we have in getting there.
Think about how often you limit yourself, and possibly limit others. What would happen if you stood in the perspective of “I can achieve anything I set my mind to!”
What would be different in your life?
How would you act differently?
What dream might become a reality for you?
Our challenge for you this week is to hold yourself bigger than you already do. Set a goal for yourself that’s challenging, and live from the perspective of “I can do it”!
For more career, sales, and leadership advice please contact our coaches
Joe Micallef – Sales Coach – email firstname.lastname@example.org, or call (773) 329 0066
Donna Flynn – Career/Management Coach – email email@example.com, or call (630) 624-4319